And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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