I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
