I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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