I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
