I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
