How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Alive.
So much puke
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
