i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
