i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
