There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
