Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
