And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize