I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize