He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
