Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
