no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
