Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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