I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
