I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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