bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
