You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
