I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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