giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
