She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize