i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
