Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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