Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
