she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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