I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just google imaged poop.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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