do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
