We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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