"it" just moved
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
