New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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