think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
