I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
