just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
