If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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