your parents love me but you hate me
Don't you send me to vm
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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