He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
