def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
