He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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