I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
