There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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