it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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