I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
