I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
farters have to be the big spoon...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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