shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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