I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize