hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
