She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
