Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
