It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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