My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
