Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You left your phone here
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