I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
